For those don't know, I posted on Facebook when it happened on April 14th, only a few weeks ago, my stepdad Tommy Hester passed away suddenly. To give a little background, my mother and Tommy married two years ago, and I believe that God brought two families who had been through a lot together. Tommy was a great man, and loved my mom. They really enjoyed each other's company and brought each happiness and joy, and for a period of time experienced some much needed peace. Right before my mom, sister and I went on our trip to Pebble Beach, we found out Tommy would need open heart surgery due to some heart complications he was having. After coming back from our trip, at the end of February he had the surgery and thankfully everything went successfully. A few weeks into his recovery, doctors found blood clots in his legs which was pretty alarming and needed to be taken care of. For a couple weeks they tried different things to help with and then right before Easter they met with the doctor again and he wanted to order some more tests since he wasn't getting better. Two days after Easter, they did a CT Scan. The following day, on Wednesday, April 8, my aunt sent me a text message to call her and then I called her and I will never forget that day for the rest of my life. It was as if somebody had just let off a bomb and all I could was stand there and not do anything. From the CT Scan, the doctors found Pancreatic Cancer, Stage 4 that had metastasized to his liver! Also that Wednesday morning, he had a stroke at the house with my mom there and they rushed him to the hospital and to get over there when I could.
What? Is what I just heard real? These thoughts and many others raced through my head. Since I was at work, all I could do for a few minutes was just stand there and gather my thoughts about what I had heard before going to the hospital. As I drove to the hospital, I sat there pretty quiet thinking, God this can't be real, what is going on? I got to the hospital and went to the room where he was and my mom, two stepbrothers and their wife and fiance and family friend were all standing there. I went to a room to wait for a while until everyone came back from where my stepdad was, and talking with people and hearing it again was just as shocking and unbelievable as the first time. I went back to work for a little while and then went back to the hospital after getting off. I was finally able to talk with my mom and other family members, and I was trying to wrap my head around what I was hearing. Before leaving the hospital that night, I went to see my stepdad with my mom. Similar to my dad, here was a man only a few months ago, was healthy and lively, and now very sick. My mom and I went to have dinner at Chick-fil-A, which I think in many ways just heals your soul. While we are sitting there my sister called who lives in New York City, and had just found out about my stepdad and was very upset, and it's in those moments you don't really know what to say or do. You want to be Superman, especially for my mom who has been through more than I can even imagine. For my sister and stepbrothers and their significant others, I just wanted to take all their hurt and pain, and just take it all. I want to be Superman, but I feel helpless and lifeless in many ways wondering what's happening right now.
Over the next few days, in talking with my mom and the doctors, they talked about letting him go home, but there wasn't much they could do about the cancer. It would be pretty much a waiting game. It's weird because even though we went through so many different things with my dad, and you feel like you are prepared for something like this, you still feel like things are falling apart. It's weird to talk about with your family members about even if you are able to bring him home, he will have to require so much care for remaining time he will live, and you don't even know how long that is? You just have so many questions and don't even know where to start or even what to ask, and in the meantime life is still going on. Many family and friends came to visit that weekend, and Tommy seemed to be in great spirits and enjoying seeing everyone. That Monday after, I went to the hospital after work to visit and have dinner with my mom. Everything seemed to be okay, and then on Tuesday, the 14th, I called my grandmother while I was driving at work, and she said simply that Tommy was not doing well, and that he probably wouldn't make it to the end of the day. It's so hard, because you don't even know what to say or do. The afternoon went on and about 3:45 my mom called me crying saying that Tommy had passed around 3 p.m. You don't forget those moments, especially with someone like your mother, who has been with you through so much and now you have to be there for her, but you don't even know what to say or do, except be there for her, which is really the only thing you can, as I have been learning recently.
For right now, I am going to stop here. I will be continuing to share over my next few posts about everything that has happened since my stepdad passed away. I will also have a guest post, that was written in the first few days after he died. Thanks to those that have written cards, or made food or just have been there to listen to either myself or my family. You may know, but you really are being an example of Christ when we need it most. The picture below is the at the wedding of my stepbrother Clay Hester and his wife Helen Hester. The fact that Tommy was able to come even though he wasn't feeling that well and especially only a few weeks later, he would not be with us, is amazing and truly a gift from God.
Thanks for Reading and God Bless,
Patrick Mastrianni
No comments:
Post a Comment