Five Lessons My Dad Taught Me

A few weeks ago, I did a post about Father's Day, and what it was like for me with my dad being gone and what that day meant to me.  As I have written in my past posts, there have been many things that my dad taught me through having cancer.  Lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life, and one day as I have a family, lessons I hope to put into practice.  There are five lessons my dad taught me during his fifteen years of being sick.  Even with him being a teacher, some of these lessons were ones that he taught without ever having to say anything.  I think it is important that we can learn from people we know without them saying anything.  I think this is especially true if someone we know is going through something really tough, and realizing that no one is perfect.

1.  How to be a Christ-following man
Thankfully, I grew up in a Christian home, with parents that brought us to church.  For my dad, he knew and recognized that he was not perfect, and he never tried to act like it.  Through being sick, he taught me that my relationship with God, is not about when everything is going really well, but that there may be times when things are really bad.  To always depend on God, but also know that I would have to do my part, and know that I couldn't be lazy.

2.  How to be a good husband
One thing I know for sure, is that my dad loved my mom.  I always remember the story of when he first saw my mom and how he knew right away that he wanted to marry her.  Even in his last few years, and even though his sickness overtook him, and not being able to be a functioning part of a family, he would always tell me that he loved my mom more than life itself.

3.  How to be a good father
My dad was a great father and did the best that he could while being sick.  He always reminded me that he was not my best friend and that he wasn't going to try to be.  He believed that in order for me to become the best man I could be, that I was going to have to learn some hard truths and that I wasn't always going to like him for it, but down the road as I got older, I would realize that it was for my good.

4.  How to work hard
When I think of my dad, I think of someone who worked hard, even when he was his most sick.  He was always working outside, making sure our house looked nice and taking pride in the work that he did.  He also taught me to work hard at my job.  My dad loved teaching math and was so good at it, (weird, because I didn't get that gene).  Even with that love, he was never satisfied, he was always seeking to learn and help others.  He was so passionate about teaching his students and helping them become better students and people.

5.  How to live life to its fullest
For the those that knew my dad, they know that he was a passionate.  (When you are Italian, you can't help it, we are lively people, we like to talk with our hands and we are also loud, which he could be very loud if he wanted to be).  He would always talk to me about not being scared to live, even with him being sick, he would remind me that I couldn't let it get in the way of living my life.  He was constantly reminding that God gave me talents and gifts for a reason, to not be afraid, and to help others in using them.

Finally, here are a few pictures of my dad. Notice the buzz cut he has.  Even though I did not have it in this picture, he and I buzzed our heads growing up all the time.  My mom didn't like it, but that was okay, I thought it was cool being like my dad.

Thanks for reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Father's Day

On Sunday June 15, 2014, it was Father's Day.  It was a hard day, and I don't know that it will get any easier.  It's hard after someone close to you has died, to not be able to to talk to them.  You want to call that person, but you know you can't because they are not around.  If you live with that person, you expect to talk to them or for them to walk around the corner, but they don't.  That is the way it has been with my dad. Something really interesting, and was a true blessing from God, was that I got to share my dad's and my families story with two people that weekend.  In talking to them, I got to share when he first had cancer, and then the two other times that it came back, and the health issues he had in between them.  How brave he was for going through it, while trying to be a good husband and father, and also working, providing for his family. That even with his strong faith, that he struggled with being sick.  I also said that it's just hard to deal with everyday.  Also, that I wouldn't have to do anything in particular, but I would just love to be able to spend more time with him, and just talk to him one more time.

I also wore my Superman shirt that day, which if this is your first time reading, Superman was my dad's favorite superhero.  I also watched Man of Steel, which came out in theaters last summer.  It's a great movie and there are many qualities that my dad displayed during his battle with cancer.  I think the biggest thing to me was my dad's courage.  For 15 years he went through pain and struggling health, that I don't know I could go through.  He often said that he love us "more than life itself," and that showed in his fight with everything The fact that he was willing after 11 years of fighting to go through the Bone Marrow transplant, was amazing.  

There were so many unknowns, yet all he really cared about was being around his family for as long as he could.  I thank God that I was able to be with him for his last few years.  Even so, it was very hard to see my dad in such bad health.  There are many days where I think or ask God why we had to go through that? Please don't feel alone if you feel that way, because I deal with that everyday.  I think it's okay to ask God those questions, and I realize I may never find out why my dad had to go through all that he did.  It's realizing that I will never see my dad in person again, but that he has had a huge impact on me and my family. Thanks Dad for the courage you displayed during your fight.

Thanks for reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni