Two Years

Two Years? Really, Already! Has it been two years since my dad passed away? Yes, it has.  In the past few days and today, I have talked with several people about the significance of today.  This past Sunday, April 26, I met with the college/equipping pastor where I go to church.  I mentioned him in my previous post.  His name is William Kane, and has been a great friend.  He was a caddie for Webb Simpson on the PGA Tour for two years.  We met for a while and talked about several different things, including most recently the passing of my step dad two weeks ago, which after this post I will share that with you all over my next few posts including hopefully my first guest post.

We talked about today being two years since the passing of my dad.  He asked me "how do you think that will be."  Now, I am not sure if that is exactly what he said, but it wasn't anything elaborate, just an honest question.  I told him that it would be tough, not as tough as last year since it was the first year, but tough.  And that I think it will get less tough as time goes on, but it will still always be tough.  I told him there are many times where I wish I could call him.  There are times when I am thinking about calling someone, and I think I will call dad, but then I remember I can't.  I don't know if that will ever really go away.

I remember talking with my mom since the my stepdad passed, about what it must be like to be a pastor and the demands placed on them.  The fact that there are so many different needs that people have, while yet they have their own needs that need to be met.  How do they balance that?  How do they deal with those tough life questions, that don't really have an answer and really only God can answer.  In talking with William, nothing against him, but there is nothing he can say that can take away the pain that I feel.  And when I talk about pain, I don't mean the kind of pain you feel when you stub your toe (which if you have done that, can really hurt).  I am talking about everyday, knowing that you may will never see that person again.  That doesn't mean that I just sulked today or other days and feel sorry for myself.  My dad wouldn't want me to do that.  In fact, living life is really how I move on. 

And as my life goes on, I think it is important for me to remember, just like William and I talked about, sometimes you don't need to say anything.  Sometimes you just need to be there for somebody.  As I think about all the people that have been there for me and my family, it is overwhelming.  Even more importantly, it wasn't about what they said, but the fact that they were with us.  That's even more important as time goes on for me, is that I am there for others, as people have been there for me.  Thankfully, God has provided me the opportunity to be there for people who were going through a similar situation or just needed somebody to talk to. 

I know I have mentioned my friend Teryn O'brien before and even mentioned a line from one of her past blog posts.  In one of her posts she talks about grief and losing someone close to you, and how you will have to get used to a "new normal."  A new normal, what an interesting term, but so well put.  I feel like that hit's exactly on the money for my family and I.  And I know that death as it is said is a part of life, but I still think it should affect us whether someone like my dad was sick for a long time or my stepdad who was sick for a brief period of time.  We need to recognize that whoever it is, either family or friend, that it still hurts.  And I guess my new normal is sharing my dad and now stepdad's story with other people.  Not that every new person that I meet with, I sit with them for hours and tell them every detail, but if the opportunity is there, what an opportunity I do have to share with them about the amazing family that I have.  I don't know what my other new normals really look like.  If I figure them out, I will surely share them with you. 

Thank you to all my family and friends for your love, support and prayers.

Thanks for reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastriani

Teryn O'Brien:  http://www.terynobrien.com/

College Pastor William Kane Twitter Handle: @WilliamKane1

Webb Simpson Twitter Handle:  @WebbSimpson1

Pebble Beach

Hello family and friends,

thank you for taking the time to read my two posts With and Without.  I thought it was important to take the time to share what 2014 was like for me, and I can't take all the credit, since my fellow blogging friend Teryn O'brien shared with her readers about her 2014, and that's when I decided I would do the same thing.  Thanks Teryn!

As many of you know from me talking with you or from Facebook and Twitter, several weeks ago February 10-15, my mom Monica Mastrianni, sister Alyssa Mastrianni and I flew out to Pebble Beach, California for a very special trip.  If my dad did not get to play Pebble Beach Golf Course, then he wanted his ashes spread there.  Since he died, the three of us have talked about when we were going there and what all we were going to do.  We wanted to play, but decided that it was too expensive.  Trust me though, I will be going back out there to play when I am older and hopefully a little better.  Once we decided we were not going to play, we talked about when would we go.  A couple of months before, we found we would be able to go to the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am and got a really good deal for tickets.  We also got a really good deal for our flight and hotel.

On the morning of the 10th, we flew out from Atlanta to San Jose.  When we finally landed in San Jose, we had about an hour drive to get to our hotel in Salinas, CA.  To get there we drove through miles and miles of farmland, which was pretty cool to see.  We also passed through several cherry and garlic farms (yes that's right, garlic).  The aroma of garlic came into our and immediately I just wanted to start cooking with.  It was just a great smell and something different to see.  With all day traveling, we didn't really want to do much except eat and go to sleep.  After going to the hotel, we went to a place called Rosita's Armory Cafe, which was a great hole in the wall Mexican place.  After eating, we went to sleep for the next day.

Prior to going out to Pebble Beach, I spoke with my college pastor William Kane, who was Webb Simpson's caddy on the PGA Tour for two years, before becoming a college pastor.  He talked about going to Pebble Beach and how much fun he had out there, and also how amazing God's beauty is, along with what people have built among the amazing landscape that is there.  The next day on Wednesday, February 11th, my mom, sister and I went to the tournament at Pebble Beach, and driving into where the tournament was, was amazing.  The golf course itself is among million dollars homes with trees and just green everywhere.  Then the backdrop is of course, the ocean crashing over the rocks, which leaves you speechless.  Wednesday was a celebrity challenge, which was cool to see some of the most well known people in the entertainment industry.  After that was done, we walked the rest of the course.  The weather while we were out there was great, but on this particular, it just seemed to be extra special.  It was sunny, but not to hot, blue skies and just amazing landscape.  There were many times I just wished the day wouldn't end.  The fact that we were able to walk Pebble Beach Golf Course with hardly anyone around still amazes me.  If you go to Pebble Beach, one of the most famous holes, is hole 7.  It is faces directly at the ocean and you just stand speechless, amazed at God and his amazing creation. I am still thankful, that God allowed us to go on this trip and honor my dad in such a special way, and I know just being able to go to this special golf course would have made him happy.  That night we went out to eat at a pretty cool seafood restaurant and then were all very tired and went to bed for the next day.

On Thursday, February 12th, we got up and drove to Big Sur (For you runners out there, the Big Sur Marathon is a big time race).  We drove on Famous Highway 1 through Big Sur, which has the ocean on one side and mountains on the other.  In between is a windy two lane highway that makes you feel tiny.  I always enjoy going to the beaches here in Savannah (or nearby Hilton Head, SC).  Every time I go, I always think about my dad and how he was so curious about how God created Earth.  Being in Big Sur and the area that we were in was a totally different experience.  To see this massive ocean (which for some reason felt bigger than the ocean here) with these huge mountains as the backdrop was breathtaking.  There were many times, where I just stood and thanked God for creating all that we were seeing.  To preface, I didn't know what it was going to look like when the three of us were going to read/speak about my dad while we were on our trip, but this particular day is when we decided to do it.  Also, a side note, if you take this sort of trip, you might as well throw out your expectations, because you will disappointed if you don't. That afternoon, we went to a nearby park and walked around for a little while until we found an area with some tables that we could sit at.

To be open for a minute, I don't really cry that much.  This doesn't mean that I don't miss my dad, because I miss him everyday.  There have been several times, whether it has been a sermon from my pastor, or something I read/saw that I have cried after.  When I think about my my mom and sister and what they went through and have been through with everything that went on with my dad, it makes me want to cry.  Even more so, when I think about how they have been since my dad died, it pretty much leaves me speechless.  The grace that they have in their heart is more than I can ever think to have.  They are not bitter or angry about anything.  This is not to say, that they are not hurt by what happened, but they never have told anyone to feel sorry for them.  They read what they wrote about my dad first, with my sister going first and then my mom.  What they read and had to say was beautiful and very emotional for all of us.  Overall it is an absolute honor and privilege to be their son and brother and am thankful for both of them.  To be able to go on this trip with them was another honor and privilege, and again, just so thankful that God provided this opportunity for us to go together.

I was last to go, and several times got choked up, but was able to get through it.  After we read what we had written, we sat at the table for a few minutes and talked, laughed and cried.  Then my mom and sister got up and walked around and just enjoyed how amazing and beautiful the day (which if I have not mentioned until now, the weather while we were out there was gorgeous and on this particular day was spectacular).  I continued sitting there thinking about everything going on and just started crying.  It all finally hit me and was a lot to take in.  After sitting there a few minutes, the three of us went over to this spot where there was an overhang and a direct view of this gigantic ocean and mountains mixed.  While standing there and looking out, I continued crying.  I don't know, there was just so much emotion with this trip and also looking at what God had created just got to me.  While standing there, we were able to spread some of my dads ashes and just enjoyed being together.  Once we were done, we started walking back to our car, and drove back towards where we first started and went to this restaurant (Nepenthe)
that is about 800 feet above the water.  The view was absolutely amazing and it was nice to be able to enjoy it with my family. On our way back it was getting darker, but we were able to get some amazing pictures of the sunset.  That night we didn't too much, because it was very exhausting for all us and it was nice to relax.

On Friday, February 13th, in the morning we drove to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  Before going we went to this awesome breakfast place, and the weather again was great, that we sat outside and enjoyed the amazing view of the boats in the bay and the town in the background. After, we went to the aquarium and walked around for a few hours.  It was absolutely packed! We all really enjoyed it, and it was just a great reminder of how creative God really is.  I always think of how strong and powerful he is, (which he is), but I sometimes forget, but this trip reminded of how creative he really is with all the different sea creatures that we were able to see big and small.  After we walked in the area for a little while and then for a couple of hours, we went to Carmel.  Wow, there is a lot of money going through that area.  One house that we saw right across from the ocean was worth $7 million (that's right), $7 million.  As amazing as some of these houses and the scenery were. some of the houses looked they were out of a Lord of the Rings movie, so it didn't feel real, because I guess when you have that kind of money, you can do what you want with it.  Because of going to the tournament the next day and Saturday being Valentine's Day, we out to dinner this particular night.  Again, it was a true honor and privilege to be with my mom and sister on Valentine's Day, although I am sure they could have picked a better date than me, but it was nice being together.  We went to a place called Rio Grill, which from the outside looked like a regular place, but inside was very nice, and a different place to experience.  We all had a great meal (don't worry, if you didn't see my Facebook and Twitter posts while we were out there of the food we ate, I will put some on this).  After, we went home and pretty much crashed at our hotel.

Saturday, February 14th was our last full day on our trip.  We went to the tournament this particular day, only this time, they were live rounds being televised with a lot more people.  Instead of going to the Pebble Beach Course, we went to the other courses that had players and walked around Spyglass.  This course was absolutely incredible and had several amazing views of the ocean.  While walking it, we ran into the wife of one of the players, who is in his rookie season.  His name is Blayne Barber, and he and his wife went to Auburn, and in talking to her, realized we had a mutual friend.  (What, are you kidding me)?  Sometimes I think how amazing it is that you can meet someone like that across the country and know the same person.  Anyway, it was really cool to meet them and we continued walking the rest of the course.  As it got later, we realized we needed to get back over to the Pebble Beach, to see the leaders finish the last few holes.  Once we finally got to the famous 18th hole, it was an absolute zoo.  There were so many people, but it was so cool to be a part of such a great tournament with all these people and especially with my family.  We were able to see the last few groups come in and then we stayed for a while after to enjoy scenery and weather.  Once we left, we went out to eat.  Of all the places, we could have gone to, we went to Chipotle.  (That's right, Chipotle).  For those that don't know, I love some tacos and all Mexican food.  I just think it is funny, that I had to do all the way out to the middle of California, when there is one here in Savannah, only a couple of miles.  It was a good time with my family, but will stick with Barberitos.  Nothing against them, but sometimes, you gotta stick with what you like.   After a long day, we went home and crashed again.

On Sunday, February 15th, we flew from San Jose, CA back to Georgia.  Overall, the three of us had an amazing time and it was such a blessing to be able to go.  As I think about the weeks leading up to the trip and since we have been back, I truly believe that God gave us those few days together as a gift.  Not that we had done anything special to be able to go, but God gave us the gift of being able to go out there and honor my father, and I know from going out there we would have been happy.  I think it was also a gift to have been able to go and spend time with each other, without the distraction of work and other everyday events that go on.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers while we were out there.  Thank you again for your support.

Thanks for Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Teryn O'Brien:   http://www.terynobrien.com/.  Also, check out her newest opportunity: http://www.sperobox.org/

Alyssa Mastrianni (my sister): http://darcy-dearest.blogspot.com/

College Pastor, William Kane Twitter Handle:  @WilliamKane1

Webb Simpson Twitter Handle: @WebbSimpson1

Blayne Barber Twitter Handle:  @BlayneBarberAU

Below are a few pictures from our trip.  If you want to see more, you can go to my page and go back to February 10-15, and see pictures from each day.   https://www.facebook.com/patrick.mastrianni

One of many great pictures of Pebble Beach

Our dinner our first night

Dinner after a long day of being on the golf course

    

Thursday in Big Sur

View of the Ocean along Hwy 1

Eating at Nepenthe