How are you Defined?

Hey everybody.  Currently, I go to Community Bible Church in Savannah, GA.  It is a great church and I really enjoy going there.  Right now we are going through the Book of Acts.  On Sunday, September 14, 2014, was a pretty special day, because we had baptisms and there was just a lot of celebration along with it.  Also that day, the sermon was great.  We went through Acts 3, and our pastor started off talking about a defining moment in our lives.

After the first few minutes, I immediately thought about my dad having cancer.  And the thing is, it is not just a single moment that happened during a day.  It is not a several day period or a few months, it is 15 years that he was sick.  And now that he has passed, that is somewhat defining as well.  15 years of unknown, 15 years of ups and downs, 15 years of watching a man suffer more pain than I can possibly imagine to.  15 years of watching your family having to struggle through, 15 years of wishing/waiting for my dad to get better.

Everyday I wake up, I remember that my dad is gone.  Everyday I want to call and talk to my dad, but I remember that I can't.  Everyday I think, I can't wait to call my dad and tell him that I am going to get married.  Everyday I think it will be cool to share my wedding day with my dad, but here won't be there with me physically to share it.  Everyday, I think it will be great to share the day I have my first child with my dad, but again he won't be here physically.  I know this all sounds sad, but these are all things that I think about.  When you lose someone close to you, you realize the important moments that you won't be able to share with them but also just to be able to talk to them is what you miss too.

A lot of times, I feel defined by my dad having cancer, because that is how I feel people know me or my family.  When you run into people you know, they tell me they are sorry about my dad and that we had to go through all those years of him being sick, and you thank them, but deep down, I wish they knew me and my family in a different way.  Even when I meet people for the first time, and tell them about my family and about my dad.  I wish many times that people did not look at me in that light, that people did not define me by my circumstance.  

Many times, I feel like God defines me this way too.  Many times I want to ask why did it have to go on for so long? What was the purpose? What I am supposed to be learning from this?  If you have or are going through something similar, remember God does not define you by your circumstance/s.  He knows that it hurts.  He knows that it seems like what you are going through is taking forever.  He knows that there may be times where you want to cry or yell, or are just angry.  He doesn't like it any more than you do, and if you let him, he will help you get through your circumstance.  Trust me, I have a very hard time with this, but he has helped me through a lot of stuff since my dad died.

http://www.cbcsavannah.com/#!current-series/c1hb6. Click on Acts 3 Sermon

Thanks for reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni