Holiday Season

Hello family and friends,

I hope all of you had a good holiday season.  As 2015 closed, what a great opportunity with Thanksgiving and Christmas, and just in general the holiday season, that we had to be with our family and spend time with each other.  For some of you though, this was a very difficult time for you all.

For some of you, you have lost a close friend or family member, and this time of year only brings about painful memories, or many other emotions that are not happy.  As some of you may know, my stepfather, Tommy Hester passed away back in April very suddenly.  What was supposed to be a routine surgery, resulted in several complications from it, and things nobody saw coming and him going downhill very quickly.  We were left standing there looking around saying what just happened?  For some of you, it may be the very same thing, or just like with my dad, someone you know has been sick for a very long time, and you lost them this year, or something else that has brought about pain.  I don't know what it is, but it hurts.

When I write these posts, I try to humbly as possible recognize that I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through or the hurt you are feeling, but rather empathize with you.  That I am someone who has lost people very close to me, and through that loss, God has given me a story to share with you and people I interact with on a daily basis.

I am not sure if I have mentioned this in previous posts, but when people know your situation, and ask "How are you doing?" or "How is your family doing?" I feel like this is such a loaded question, that it is hard to answer with just one word or in a sentence.  And I understand that people care and want to know, but sometimes you want to say "How much time do you have?" and actually sit down for a while and share with them how things are going.  But I recognize that not everybody has a large amount of time to spend talking, so sometimes you just have to say "Things are okay, thanks for asking."  There is not any specific way to answer the question by any means, but with your own personal situation, you know how to best answer it.

And I think it is even harder during the holiday season.  Not only are your friends or family saying you should be happy, but t.v. commercials, billboards, magazines, postcards are all saying you should be happy, and you are the exact opposite.  And it's okay to be the exact opposite.  It's okay to be sad or even ask "Hey God, what is going on?"  And I know we tend to think, that he is not big enough to answer that question, but he is and he wants us to ask that question.  And even when we want to have the question answered, God may not answer the question of why.  He may do something different by helping you get through this period of time with family or friends.

I think the other difficult thing is accepting the help of others.  I know it is hard for me, because many times I think, "I'm good, I can get through this on my own,"  Remember though, especially during Christmas and this time, how much of a gift people are.  God has given us other people to share our lives with, and we tend to think that we always have to be serving and doing, doing, doing, that we never allow others to serve us and help us.  Sometimes I think God has us in certain places and in certain seasons of life, for us to see the grace of others.  Sometimes we feel like when we have lost someone close to us or are going through a hard time, we feel useless or selfish.  Sometimes though in order to get the focus off ourselves and our situation, he puts people in our lives to show how much grace he truly has.  For us to recognize that things can get better, and that life can go on even though these people are not in our lives anymore, it just will look and feel different.

I think the best example of God's grace is our family.  And as I think about my family, each individual person has experienced their own heartache and loss over these recent years, but yet they are all still so giving of themselves.  The best example I can think of for myself that I see, is my mom.  In a span of less than two years, she has had to say goodbye to my dad and then only a few months ago to Tommy.  For my dad, we were more prepared for especially with how sick he was over his last few years of living, but again no less difficult.  With Tommy, it was in the blink of an eye like I have mentioned.  I believe it is one thing to say goodbye to a parent, grandparent or friend, and please hear me when I say that I am in no way taking away from your loss if you have lost anyone close to you in your life.  When you lose the person that you stand with committing your lives to each other before God and those family and friends you love that you want to share that amazing day, that is something totally different.  Although I am not married, I hope that God blesses me with marrying a woman someday. 

I believe that marriage is an unbreakable bond and is unlike any other relationship that we have while living.  You are probably thinking why I am talking about marriage, this is not what the blog is about.  My point is that losing a spouse should just wreck those that have, and that is okay if it is has, because we have a God that is with us in the midst of it.  And my other point is that as my mom is still grieving in her own way, and even though she misses Tommy and this has been a difficult time, she is still such a giving person.  Not only does she care about her own family, but those she comes into contact wherever she may be, I know just from being around that her, she displays God's grace. 

As I have mentioned before, it would be easy for her to be angry and resentful, and people would understand, but she is not.  I have actually had conversations with her, in that she has said it doesn't really help to be angry.  Does it hurt, you bet.  And she knows that Tommy would not want her to be mad, and to continue living and to be happy.  On top of that, it just continues to amaze me her faith in God through all of this.  She knows that each day is going to be tough, but as she says the best thing to do is trust that God will get us through each day.

I don't know how your holiday season went, but as we start 2016, may you experience a new beginning and maybe a little hope. 


Thanks for Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Family Christmas Picture

Tommy

Hello family and friends, I apologize for not having written in several weeks.  Since the time my stepdad passed, which was on April 14th, 2015, for those don't know.  It hasn't been busy, but my family has really been my top priority.  Sometimes, it feels like in only a few months, you can live an entire lifetime.  My stepbrother Clay Hester and his wife Helen got married on Saturday, March 29th, 2015.  They are great people and Helen, right after Tommy passed wrote an amazing tribute about Tommy, that thankfully she said at some point would be fine for me to share on my blog.  There is nothing more that I could add that would make what she wrote better, so I won't.  Personally, I believe she needs to start her own blog based on this tribute.  Who knows.  If you read closely, even though you may have never met Tommy, you will get to read the kind of man he was and the impact he had on his family, and the community he lived in.


Thanks to Helen Hester for writing what is below:

My first conversation with Tommy Hester took place when I was a baby lawyer, just starting out at Inglesby Falligant in 2007. The conversation was supposed to be all business, as he was then with The Coastal Bank. But, in true Tommy Hester fashion, he began inquiring about my background. He was most concerned with whether or not I owned a gun. When I assured him that I not only owned a gun, but also knew how to use it, he said, "well, I've got a son you should meet." Little did either of us know at that time that some six years later I would not only come to meet the sweet and wonderful son that you see in this picture, but I would marry him just three short weeks ago. Many great things have been said in the last few days, but I would be remis if I didn't give my own small tribute to the man that I have come to dearly love. A man that took myself and my sister-in-law, Jessica, in as his own daughters, a man that loved his grandchildren before they were even born, a man that had a smile that could stop you dead in your tracks and turn your whole day around, and a man that loved his two sons and wife unconditionally. While we will never be able to fill the void, I know that Clay, Wes, Jess and I will instill in the next generation of Hester's what Tommy taught each of us: to laugh even when the circumstances seem impossible, to smile in a way that lights up each room that they will enter, to love with all their hearts, to have the kind of faith and optimism that ministers to other people, to give great big hugs and to make a difference in their communities, just as he did. What a comfort to know that we will have the world's greatest father and grandfather/babysitter smiling down on us always.


Thanks For Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Blindsided

Hey everybody, I apologize for being out of touch these recent weeks.  When I last wrote, it was the week/2 year anniversary of my dad's death.  Thank you again to those that either read my blog that week or just have been supportive towards my family.

For those don't know, I posted on Facebook when it happened on April 14th, only a few weeks ago, my stepdad Tommy Hester passed away suddenly.  To give a little background, my mother and Tommy married two years ago, and I believe that God brought two families who had been through a lot together.  Tommy was a great man, and loved my mom.  They really enjoyed each other's company and brought each happiness and joy, and for a period of time experienced some much needed peace.  Right before my mom, sister and I went on our trip to Pebble Beach, we found out Tommy would need open heart surgery due to some heart complications he was having.  After coming back from our trip, at the end of February he had the surgery and thankfully everything went successfully.  A few weeks into his recovery, doctors found blood clots in his legs which was pretty alarming and needed to be taken care of.  For a couple weeks they tried different things to help with and then right before Easter they met with the doctor again and he wanted to order some more tests since he wasn't getting better.  Two days after Easter, they did a CT Scan.  The following day, on Wednesday, April 8, my aunt sent me a text message to call her and then I called her and I will never forget that day for the rest of my life.  It was as if somebody had just let off a bomb and all I could was stand there and not do anything.  From the CT Scan, the doctors found Pancreatic Cancer, Stage 4 that had metastasized to his liver!  Also that Wednesday morning, he had a stroke at the house with my mom there and they rushed him to the hospital and to get over there when I could.

What?  Is what I just heard real?  These thoughts and many others raced through my head.  Since I was at work, all I could do for a few minutes was just stand there and gather my thoughts about what I had heard before going to the hospital.  As I drove to the hospital, I sat there pretty quiet thinking, God this can't be real, what is going on?  I got to the hospital and went to the room where he was and my mom, two stepbrothers and their wife and fiance and family friend were all standing there.  I went to a room to wait for a while until everyone came back from where my stepdad was, and talking with people and hearing it again was just as shocking and unbelievable as the first time.  I went back to work for a little while and then went back to the hospital after getting off.   I was finally able to talk with my mom and other family members, and I was trying to wrap my head around what I was hearing.  Before leaving the hospital that night, I went to see my stepdad with my mom.  Similar to my dad, here was a man only a few months ago, was healthy and lively, and now very sick.  My mom and I went to have dinner at Chick-fil-A, which I think in many ways just heals your soul.  While we are sitting there my sister called who lives in New York City, and had just found out about my stepdad and was very upset, and it's in those moments you don't really know what to say or do.  You want to be Superman, especially for my mom who has been through more than I can even imagine.  For my sister and stepbrothers and their significant others, I just wanted to take all their hurt and pain, and just take it all.  I want to be Superman, but I feel helpless and lifeless in many ways wondering what's happening right now.  

Over the next few days, in talking with my mom and the doctors, they talked about letting him go home, but there wasn't much they could do about the cancer.  It would be pretty much a waiting game.  It's weird because even though we went through so many different things with my dad, and you feel like you are prepared for something like this, you still feel like things are falling apart.  It's weird to talk about with your family members about even if you are able to bring him home, he will have to require so much care for remaining time he will live, and you don't even know how long that is?  You just have so many questions and don't even know where to start or even what to ask, and in the meantime life is still going on.  Many family and friends came to visit that weekend, and Tommy seemed to be in great spirits and enjoying seeing everyone.  That Monday after, I went to the hospital after work to visit and have dinner with my mom.  Everything seemed to be okay, and then on Tuesday, the 14th, I called my grandmother while I was driving at work, and she said simply that Tommy was not doing well, and that he probably wouldn't make it to the end of the day.  It's so hard, because you don't even know what to say or do.  The afternoon went on and about 3:45 my mom called me crying saying that Tommy had passed around 3 p.m. You don't forget those moments, especially with someone like your mother, who has been with you through so much and now you have to be there for her, but you don't even know what to say or do, except be there for her, which is really the only thing you can, as I have been learning recently.

For right now, I am going to stop here.  I will be continuing to share over my next few posts about everything that has happened since my stepdad passed away.  I will also have a guest post, that was written in the first few days after he died.  Thanks to those that have written cards, or made food or just have been there to listen to either myself or my family.  You may know, but you really are being an example of Christ when we need it most.  The picture below is the at the wedding of my stepbrother Clay Hester and his wife Helen Hester.  The fact that Tommy was able to come even though he wasn't feeling that well and especially only a few weeks later, he would not be with us, is amazing and truly a gift from God. 

Thanks for Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

 

Father's Day 2015

Happy Father's Day to those that are father's.  It's crazy to think that even though the two year anniversary just passed a few weeks ago when my dad died, it is now the third Father's Day without him.  He passed away right before Father's Day 2013.

If I am going to be honest, which is the point of this blog is to tell you my story and what my dad and family, and how much I miss him, today hurts.  It doesn't hurt physically, but mentally and spiritually it hurts.  It hurts when I go to church and see families sitting together with their father right there.  It hurts when I see fathers I know and say "Happy Father's Day" to them, but I can't even call my own dad and tell him.  Today in particular is not the only day it hurts, because it hurts and is hard to deal with everyday, but today just stings a little bit more.  Now I don't write all this because I or my family want your pity or to feel sorry for us, but to let you know how it really feels.  It would be very selfish for me to say that I am the only that is hurting especially with the recent passing of my stepdad.  Because it is now having to see my mom go through this process for a second time and be without the love of her life.  Having to see my two stepbrothers and their loved ones go through this process.  Also, with my grandfather who passed away back in 2010, having to see my grandmother who spent 50+ years with the man she loved, still miss him and talk about him all the time.  I realize I am not the only that hurts being without 3 of the most influential men in my life.

People I meet or friends of mine will ask me what it is like to not have my dad, but especially on Father's Day it is tough to be asked that question.  Usually I will share people's name in my blog, but this next statement, I will keep my friend anonymous.  Today, I was at church and spoke with a friend of mine for a few minutes.  Since he has kids, I told him Happy Father's Day, and we talked about today and what each other's plans were.  He then asked me how I was doing and if today was tough for me.  How do you answer that question?  I don't say this in that I am angry or upset at my friend for asking me.  He is a great friend and understands from talking with him that it has been a hard road for me and my family.  But even so, it is a tough question to answer.  I told him that I was doing okay and that it was tough.  That's a pretty honest answer.  Our teaching pastor at the church I go to talks about many times with people who are going through some tough things, to be honest with other people about how things are going.  Now what he is not saying and I have learned that I can't just share everything with just any old person, that's not really fair to them or you who are going through something, because it is also not really healthy.

I do think that we need to be honest and real with the people that are closest to us about how things are going.  But even with those that are closest to us, as I mentioned earlier with the mental and spiritual struggle of it, they don't see that.  Mentally, I am always thinking about my dad and not that I am going to try and break it, because it shows how important he is to me.  The simple fact of wanting to share exciting news with him.  Many times, I will say I need to call him and then remind myself that I can't do that.  And to those that feel the same way or feel like they are the only one, it's okay, you should want to tell someone who was such an important part of your life about exciting or not so exciting things going on in your life.  And spiritually, it's hard for me.  Just this morning, I went for a run and was praying and let God know that it still hurts that my dad is not around and that it was hard to see him have to go through so much pain.  Even though I struggle with it, I also think that we need to get over this whole of God not being able to handle our emotions.  Just like my pastor said last week during the sermon.  "If he not only created the earth and our galaxy, but galaxies that we can't even see, and yet still is able to have a close relationship with you, and be with you when things are going good or bad, then he is able to handle minor things."  That is probably not the exact quote, but something like that.  He also doesn't think what you are going through is minor, or just blow it off because he doesn't think it is a big deal.  He truly does care, and is even willing to have you be angry or upset with him if that's the case, because he wants you to bring your pain to him, because he is big enough to take it on.

My hope for this particular post is that if your dad is still living, wish him a Happy Father's Day.  Many times when I write my posts, I am constantly thinking that someone may have gone through way worse than I have, and you may have if you are reading this.  You may say, who is this guy and what does he know, if he only knew who my dad was or that my dad is lousy and didn't do anything.  That also may be the case, but I do know what is like to not have a dad.  I don't say with any sort of arrogance I hope or trying to shove this in anyone's face, but saying that I wish I was able to speak with my dad one more.  As I have probably said in previous posts, even if I had just 5 minutes just to say hi, I would love to have that.  But I don't, and realize how precious the time that I did have with him.  All the family dinners we had or the times especially in the last few years of his life, where I was able to walk and talk with him.  No one can ever take that away from me.  So I don't write knowing what you have been through, but hoping that you might take my advice.  Don't let one thing or a few things allow you to not have a relationship with your father.  It's not worth it.  It's worth taking that step and maybe saying hey what I went through hurt or am currently going through hurts, but I can learn to forgive and rebuild.

To my dad, Happy Father's Day!

Thanks for Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Two Years

Two Years? Really, Already! Has it been two years since my dad passed away? Yes, it has.  In the past few days and today, I have talked with several people about the significance of today.  This past Sunday, April 26, I met with the college/equipping pastor where I go to church.  I mentioned him in my previous post.  His name is William Kane, and has been a great friend.  He was a caddie for Webb Simpson on the PGA Tour for two years.  We met for a while and talked about several different things, including most recently the passing of my step dad two weeks ago, which after this post I will share that with you all over my next few posts including hopefully my first guest post.

We talked about today being two years since the passing of my dad.  He asked me "how do you think that will be."  Now, I am not sure if that is exactly what he said, but it wasn't anything elaborate, just an honest question.  I told him that it would be tough, not as tough as last year since it was the first year, but tough.  And that I think it will get less tough as time goes on, but it will still always be tough.  I told him there are many times where I wish I could call him.  There are times when I am thinking about calling someone, and I think I will call dad, but then I remember I can't.  I don't know if that will ever really go away.

I remember talking with my mom since the my stepdad passed, about what it must be like to be a pastor and the demands placed on them.  The fact that there are so many different needs that people have, while yet they have their own needs that need to be met.  How do they balance that?  How do they deal with those tough life questions, that don't really have an answer and really only God can answer.  In talking with William, nothing against him, but there is nothing he can say that can take away the pain that I feel.  And when I talk about pain, I don't mean the kind of pain you feel when you stub your toe (which if you have done that, can really hurt).  I am talking about everyday, knowing that you may will never see that person again.  That doesn't mean that I just sulked today or other days and feel sorry for myself.  My dad wouldn't want me to do that.  In fact, living life is really how I move on. 

And as my life goes on, I think it is important for me to remember, just like William and I talked about, sometimes you don't need to say anything.  Sometimes you just need to be there for somebody.  As I think about all the people that have been there for me and my family, it is overwhelming.  Even more importantly, it wasn't about what they said, but the fact that they were with us.  That's even more important as time goes on for me, is that I am there for others, as people have been there for me.  Thankfully, God has provided me the opportunity to be there for people who were going through a similar situation or just needed somebody to talk to. 

I know I have mentioned my friend Teryn O'brien before and even mentioned a line from one of her past blog posts.  In one of her posts she talks about grief and losing someone close to you, and how you will have to get used to a "new normal."  A new normal, what an interesting term, but so well put.  I feel like that hit's exactly on the money for my family and I.  And I know that death as it is said is a part of life, but I still think it should affect us whether someone like my dad was sick for a long time or my stepdad who was sick for a brief period of time.  We need to recognize that whoever it is, either family or friend, that it still hurts.  And I guess my new normal is sharing my dad and now stepdad's story with other people.  Not that every new person that I meet with, I sit with them for hours and tell them every detail, but if the opportunity is there, what an opportunity I do have to share with them about the amazing family that I have.  I don't know what my other new normals really look like.  If I figure them out, I will surely share them with you. 

Thank you to all my family and friends for your love, support and prayers.

Thanks for reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastriani

Teryn O'Brien:  http://www.terynobrien.com/

College Pastor William Kane Twitter Handle: @WilliamKane1

Webb Simpson Twitter Handle:  @WebbSimpson1

Pebble Beach

Hello family and friends,

thank you for taking the time to read my two posts With and Without.  I thought it was important to take the time to share what 2014 was like for me, and I can't take all the credit, since my fellow blogging friend Teryn O'brien shared with her readers about her 2014, and that's when I decided I would do the same thing.  Thanks Teryn!

As many of you know from me talking with you or from Facebook and Twitter, several weeks ago February 10-15, my mom Monica Mastrianni, sister Alyssa Mastrianni and I flew out to Pebble Beach, California for a very special trip.  If my dad did not get to play Pebble Beach Golf Course, then he wanted his ashes spread there.  Since he died, the three of us have talked about when we were going there and what all we were going to do.  We wanted to play, but decided that it was too expensive.  Trust me though, I will be going back out there to play when I am older and hopefully a little better.  Once we decided we were not going to play, we talked about when would we go.  A couple of months before, we found we would be able to go to the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am and got a really good deal for tickets.  We also got a really good deal for our flight and hotel.

On the morning of the 10th, we flew out from Atlanta to San Jose.  When we finally landed in San Jose, we had about an hour drive to get to our hotel in Salinas, CA.  To get there we drove through miles and miles of farmland, which was pretty cool to see.  We also passed through several cherry and garlic farms (yes that's right, garlic).  The aroma of garlic came into our and immediately I just wanted to start cooking with.  It was just a great smell and something different to see.  With all day traveling, we didn't really want to do much except eat and go to sleep.  After going to the hotel, we went to a place called Rosita's Armory Cafe, which was a great hole in the wall Mexican place.  After eating, we went to sleep for the next day.

Prior to going out to Pebble Beach, I spoke with my college pastor William Kane, who was Webb Simpson's caddy on the PGA Tour for two years, before becoming a college pastor.  He talked about going to Pebble Beach and how much fun he had out there, and also how amazing God's beauty is, along with what people have built among the amazing landscape that is there.  The next day on Wednesday, February 11th, my mom, sister and I went to the tournament at Pebble Beach, and driving into where the tournament was, was amazing.  The golf course itself is among million dollars homes with trees and just green everywhere.  Then the backdrop is of course, the ocean crashing over the rocks, which leaves you speechless.  Wednesday was a celebrity challenge, which was cool to see some of the most well known people in the entertainment industry.  After that was done, we walked the rest of the course.  The weather while we were out there was great, but on this particular, it just seemed to be extra special.  It was sunny, but not to hot, blue skies and just amazing landscape.  There were many times I just wished the day wouldn't end.  The fact that we were able to walk Pebble Beach Golf Course with hardly anyone around still amazes me.  If you go to Pebble Beach, one of the most famous holes, is hole 7.  It is faces directly at the ocean and you just stand speechless, amazed at God and his amazing creation. I am still thankful, that God allowed us to go on this trip and honor my dad in such a special way, and I know just being able to go to this special golf course would have made him happy.  That night we went out to eat at a pretty cool seafood restaurant and then were all very tired and went to bed for the next day.

On Thursday, February 12th, we got up and drove to Big Sur (For you runners out there, the Big Sur Marathon is a big time race).  We drove on Famous Highway 1 through Big Sur, which has the ocean on one side and mountains on the other.  In between is a windy two lane highway that makes you feel tiny.  I always enjoy going to the beaches here in Savannah (or nearby Hilton Head, SC).  Every time I go, I always think about my dad and how he was so curious about how God created Earth.  Being in Big Sur and the area that we were in was a totally different experience.  To see this massive ocean (which for some reason felt bigger than the ocean here) with these huge mountains as the backdrop was breathtaking.  There were many times, where I just stood and thanked God for creating all that we were seeing.  To preface, I didn't know what it was going to look like when the three of us were going to read/speak about my dad while we were on our trip, but this particular day is when we decided to do it.  Also, a side note, if you take this sort of trip, you might as well throw out your expectations, because you will disappointed if you don't. That afternoon, we went to a nearby park and walked around for a little while until we found an area with some tables that we could sit at.

To be open for a minute, I don't really cry that much.  This doesn't mean that I don't miss my dad, because I miss him everyday.  There have been several times, whether it has been a sermon from my pastor, or something I read/saw that I have cried after.  When I think about my my mom and sister and what they went through and have been through with everything that went on with my dad, it makes me want to cry.  Even more so, when I think about how they have been since my dad died, it pretty much leaves me speechless.  The grace that they have in their heart is more than I can ever think to have.  They are not bitter or angry about anything.  This is not to say, that they are not hurt by what happened, but they never have told anyone to feel sorry for them.  They read what they wrote about my dad first, with my sister going first and then my mom.  What they read and had to say was beautiful and very emotional for all of us.  Overall it is an absolute honor and privilege to be their son and brother and am thankful for both of them.  To be able to go on this trip with them was another honor and privilege, and again, just so thankful that God provided this opportunity for us to go together.

I was last to go, and several times got choked up, but was able to get through it.  After we read what we had written, we sat at the table for a few minutes and talked, laughed and cried.  Then my mom and sister got up and walked around and just enjoyed how amazing and beautiful the day (which if I have not mentioned until now, the weather while we were out there was gorgeous and on this particular day was spectacular).  I continued sitting there thinking about everything going on and just started crying.  It all finally hit me and was a lot to take in.  After sitting there a few minutes, the three of us went over to this spot where there was an overhang and a direct view of this gigantic ocean and mountains mixed.  While standing there and looking out, I continued crying.  I don't know, there was just so much emotion with this trip and also looking at what God had created just got to me.  While standing there, we were able to spread some of my dads ashes and just enjoyed being together.  Once we were done, we started walking back to our car, and drove back towards where we first started and went to this restaurant (Nepenthe)
that is about 800 feet above the water.  The view was absolutely amazing and it was nice to be able to enjoy it with my family. On our way back it was getting darker, but we were able to get some amazing pictures of the sunset.  That night we didn't too much, because it was very exhausting for all us and it was nice to relax.

On Friday, February 13th, in the morning we drove to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.  Before going we went to this awesome breakfast place, and the weather again was great, that we sat outside and enjoyed the amazing view of the boats in the bay and the town in the background. After, we went to the aquarium and walked around for a few hours.  It was absolutely packed! We all really enjoyed it, and it was just a great reminder of how creative God really is.  I always think of how strong and powerful he is, (which he is), but I sometimes forget, but this trip reminded of how creative he really is with all the different sea creatures that we were able to see big and small.  After we walked in the area for a little while and then for a couple of hours, we went to Carmel.  Wow, there is a lot of money going through that area.  One house that we saw right across from the ocean was worth $7 million (that's right), $7 million.  As amazing as some of these houses and the scenery were. some of the houses looked they were out of a Lord of the Rings movie, so it didn't feel real, because I guess when you have that kind of money, you can do what you want with it.  Because of going to the tournament the next day and Saturday being Valentine's Day, we out to dinner this particular night.  Again, it was a true honor and privilege to be with my mom and sister on Valentine's Day, although I am sure they could have picked a better date than me, but it was nice being together.  We went to a place called Rio Grill, which from the outside looked like a regular place, but inside was very nice, and a different place to experience.  We all had a great meal (don't worry, if you didn't see my Facebook and Twitter posts while we were out there of the food we ate, I will put some on this).  After, we went home and pretty much crashed at our hotel.

Saturday, February 14th was our last full day on our trip.  We went to the tournament this particular day, only this time, they were live rounds being televised with a lot more people.  Instead of going to the Pebble Beach Course, we went to the other courses that had players and walked around Spyglass.  This course was absolutely incredible and had several amazing views of the ocean.  While walking it, we ran into the wife of one of the players, who is in his rookie season.  His name is Blayne Barber, and he and his wife went to Auburn, and in talking to her, realized we had a mutual friend.  (What, are you kidding me)?  Sometimes I think how amazing it is that you can meet someone like that across the country and know the same person.  Anyway, it was really cool to meet them and we continued walking the rest of the course.  As it got later, we realized we needed to get back over to the Pebble Beach, to see the leaders finish the last few holes.  Once we finally got to the famous 18th hole, it was an absolute zoo.  There were so many people, but it was so cool to be a part of such a great tournament with all these people and especially with my family.  We were able to see the last few groups come in and then we stayed for a while after to enjoy scenery and weather.  Once we left, we went out to eat.  Of all the places, we could have gone to, we went to Chipotle.  (That's right, Chipotle).  For those that don't know, I love some tacos and all Mexican food.  I just think it is funny, that I had to do all the way out to the middle of California, when there is one here in Savannah, only a couple of miles.  It was a good time with my family, but will stick with Barberitos.  Nothing against them, but sometimes, you gotta stick with what you like.   After a long day, we went home and crashed again.

On Sunday, February 15th, we flew from San Jose, CA back to Georgia.  Overall, the three of us had an amazing time and it was such a blessing to be able to go.  As I think about the weeks leading up to the trip and since we have been back, I truly believe that God gave us those few days together as a gift.  Not that we had done anything special to be able to go, but God gave us the gift of being able to go out there and honor my father, and I know from going out there we would have been happy.  I think it was also a gift to have been able to go and spend time with each other, without the distraction of work and other everyday events that go on.  Thank you for your thoughts and prayers while we were out there.  Thank you again for your support.

Thanks for Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Teryn O'Brien:   http://www.terynobrien.com/.  Also, check out her newest opportunity: http://www.sperobox.org/

Alyssa Mastrianni (my sister): http://darcy-dearest.blogspot.com/

College Pastor, William Kane Twitter Handle:  @WilliamKane1

Webb Simpson Twitter Handle: @WebbSimpson1

Blayne Barber Twitter Handle:  @BlayneBarberAU

Below are a few pictures from our trip.  If you want to see more, you can go to my page and go back to February 10-15, and see pictures from each day.   https://www.facebook.com/patrick.mastrianni

One of many great pictures of Pebble Beach

Our dinner our first night

Dinner after a long day of being on the golf course

    

Thursday in Big Sur

View of the Ocean along Hwy 1

Eating at Nepenthe

2014, With and Without Cont...

Hello everybody, I probably ended my last post pretty quickly.  Due to time restraints getting ready for my trip to Pebble Beach, CA with my family to spread my dad's ashes, I thought it might be best to end the post when I did.  Before I go on, my post after this will be about my trip to Pebble Beach.  Our trip was amazing.  It was very emotional for my mom, sister and myself and we were really glad that we were able to take the trip and spend such great time with each other.

Interesting enough where I left off in my last post, it leads to my next point when it comes to 2014.  2014 was also a full year in being able to work on my blog.  I started it at the end of October 2013.  Some things that I take away from it are that I know it is no where close to what I would like it to be.  That means several things.  First thing is, that I need to commit to making it more interactive and visible to those of you that are reading it.  Which, again I cannot thank you enough if you are reading it.  First, it is such an honor to write about my dad and my family and secondly to have you read it.  Second thing is, that I need to make my blog more of a priority.  Because I truly believe that God has really given me a great opportunity to do this blog, and that it can really help people.

It's interesting because I was speaking with a friend of mine recently about this.  I told them, that I felt like I had really been gaining momentum with my blog.  I was able to write a good bit in 2014, but I also know I can do more with it.  The reason I say this is because there are several blogs that I follow.  One of those being Jon Acuff's who I have mentioned before.  With him being a public speaker and having had the opportunity to go to the START Conference he hosted, sometimes I get discouraged.  He is constantly posting on Twitter with the link to his blog and also his most recent book just came out, Do Over.

I have to remember that God has me in a different place in my life.  He has given me a different story and has me reaching a different audience.  I am not saying that Jon has not been through pain or tough times, but the people that I hope read this are the people that are experiencing pain.  Pain that hurts so bad, that only God can bring healing to.  And while that doesn't mean I need to slack off, and not write as much, I remember why I am doing it, which keeps me going.  Along with that real life happens.  Sometimes I get discouraged by that too.  I am not able to work on it for a variety of reasons. And again I have to remember it doesn't have to look a certain way.  Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that real life doesn't happen for other people and everything is going perfectly, when they are dealing with everyday, real life issues like I am.

Getting back to where I ended in the other post, I ended talking about the many weddings that I went to in 2014.  Funny enough, 2015 seems to be the year of a lot happening in my family.  Back during Mother's Day Weekend 2014, my older stepbrother and future sister-in-law got engaged.  I mentioned them in my previous post, and they are getting married March 28th, which is coming up very soon.  Even more recently, only a few weeks ago, my other stepbrother Wesley Hester and his fiance Jessica Cohen got engaged, and they will be getting married August 29th of this year.  My sister, Alyssa Mastrianni who I have mentioned in my blog before is working and living in New York City.  She moved up the day after we got back from Pebble Beach.  Whew...really that is all happening this year?

With all this happening in my family comes a lot of time either talking with my family or being with them in person.  I don't write this as a bad thing, but just stating it because of all that is happening.  It's easy to get overwhelmed, but I remind myself and many times pray for peace, and that God would bring peace to our family, because it is easy to worry with all that is going on.  It's also easy for me to discouraged.  With all the excitement going on for our family, I realize that I am not dating anybody.  With this sometimes I can feel like I need to find somebody.  God reminds me that he can work through me as a single person.

I also remind myself that marriage is not something to rush into.  Not that I need to wait for a long time, but be okay with being single.  And if you are anything like me, sometimes I get into the thought that there is not anyone out there for me.  That no one would be willing to share what I have experienced over 15 years with my dad.  I think that is somewhat of a selfish thought.  I do understand that some people may not get married.  As someone who would like to get married, I am learning more that I can't shut myself off to loving somebody.  For the rest of my life, my excuse can't be what my family went through with my dad.  Because again many other people have been through the same or worse.

Overall, I have to remember that right now is an exciting time for my family.  It's easy to be selfish and be mad at God and think that nothing exciting is happening in my life.  Just like with my blog, I have to remind myself God has me in a different stage of life.  And again, not just being lazy, but being okay with things happening, even if I think it is happening slowly.  

Thanks for Reading and God Bless,

Patrick Mastrianni

Links to blogs

Alyssa Mastrianni:   http://darcy-dearest.blogspot.com/

Jon Acuff: http://acuff.me/.  Also, here is the link to his new book.  http://acuff.me/do-over/